Too Many Mirrors...

Indulging in a lot of introspection these days, time to change gears; one last missive from my brooding then it's on to other things, promise...

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Sittin’ here wonderin’…why not? Not a logical positivist by training but when Ms Rand says "The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me” (thanks PT)…I have some of that in me and I know what's right, lookin’ for resonance across the air gaps. (Ding!...now that was cryptic)

So I feel lighter (benign restraints, but…), still got strong giri to folks (defines me a bit)…but there’s a lot less for me to factor in my decision–making when I have full range of motion. It’s ironic that the guy with too few boundaries (I get that a lot) has reached a 19-year perigee on limits right here and now. It’s not that I have some sort of fearless/reckless/thoughtless/heedless/selfish/foolish thing a’goin’ on, I just feel like I have been doing well on many fronts working with a paucity (perceived) of options…mo liberty is mo betta…what am I capable of when my future is (feels) closer to tabula rasa than I’ve seen since I went on that commitment tear?

I know the parable of elephant training. Chain ‘em to a stake with no escape possibilities early, over time, they get institutionalized to it; as adults you only need a silk cord to convince them to stay put. Plenty of literary/anecdotal signaling that it happens to everybody if you don’t keep a weather eye out for it, and even being aware can often be of little significance to the process…goes back to the indoctrination issues I have with raising the munchkin. There I have a don’t start nothin’, won’t be nothin’ philosophy, but I’m pretty far past ‘go’ so I don’t think I can count on good-intentions to unwind me. If it’s truly all about the questions we ask, not the answers, then…

Why not? Why not ask for the things that are best for us and everyone we care about? Why not invite and welcome them if it’s all the same? I don’t feel shy/guilty/skittish about fulfilling wants/needs/desires for loved ones if the damage path is light; days/weeks/months/years wasted navel-gazing for the perfect outcomes?…well mythic paradigms are great, but they have to be grounded in best-case reality (which includes a nod to basic human weakness and a serious staring contest with the Great Wolf time). Links to my feeling on scarcity: I’m pretty sure there is more than enough pleasure and contentment to go around. Basically trying to get here:

I'm a little heavy on what I have (there's no stock image for that...am I that far from the herd?), obsessed with a desire or two...need to share...